


Do Bugsters Dream of Bright Blue Birds?

by Dove_Vanity



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Identity Issues, Mild Language, Pre-Canon, Repressed Memories, ish, sort of...ex aid is weird lets be honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-12 19:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18017156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dove_Vanity/pseuds/Dove_Vanity
Summary: Graphite starts to have weird dreamlike flashbacks that feel awfully familar.





	Do Bugsters Dream of Bright Blue Birds?

**Author's Note:**

> If part of this fic is weird that's because I wrote a huge chunk of it while having around 37/38 C high fever (around 101 for you fahrenheit people I think). Don't ask me _how_ I did it I just, did it, somehow.
> 
> Anyways, I'm back at Crispy Creme with a new fic. Despite having some issues with the show, I enjoyed Ex Aid a lot,so it was just a matter of time before I wrote a fic for the show. Graphite is by far my favorite character from the show,so making a fic based on my plotbunnies and headcanons felt almost invetiable.
> 
> Also real quick I would like to thank my good friend @DroppedAllTheseOreos for getting me to fall in love with Saki even if she is basically a manpain plotdevice in canon. I feel this fic wouldnt exist (or not at least in its current form) wiyhout this

_ He was at a park, on one summer afternoon when he saw a bird sitting at a tree branch near the swings. _

_ The bird was tiny and blue,unlike anything he had ever seen before in his life until that moment. The closest he could compare it to was like a bright sun across the green meadow. Expect instead of yellow it was blue.The bird was absolutely beautiful. It fascinated him to the point he wanted it. He wanted to be its friend and companion, to live with it forever. So he tried to touch the bird, in hopes of getting its appreciation. As he was reaching to the birds tiny body to touch it, it flew away, leaving him alone in the park. _

 

That was the first dream Graphite had.

It came so suddenly,like a breeze on a summer night's eve. He wasn't sure how it had come about? Was he even supposed to be able to dream? Sure,he sometimes rested in his nest-like structure consisting of bedsheets and pillows in order to regain energy and even closed his eyes the same way humans did when they went to sleep. However resting wasn’t mandatory for him the same way it was for humans. Even when he rested he never dreamt. His rests were more like a machine being put offline than the function humans referred to as sleep: he completely stopped functioning during the time. This time it had been different. He had seen a dream. Clearly there had been images inside his head, playing a little game,presenting vision of something to him. But what was even stranger was that  the dream he had felt strangely familiar. It felt like he had seen the bird before. 

For a while he wondered how he could have possibly dreamt? Why did the dream feel so familiar? Why did it feel like he had encountered the bird before,even if he was certain he didn't? After a while of pondering Graphite gave up,punching lightly into one of his nests pillows. Did it really matter whether it was a dream or not? In all honesty it really didn't,not for him at least. He was the dragon warrior. There were only two things that really mattered to him: fighting and destroying humanity. Anything else could wait. If it was more complicated than fighting people it could be preferably handled by someone else. He decided that it would be best to forget it and just try to figure out something to do.

 

* * *

 

After a while Graphite found himself at Kuroto's office. He wondered why he had went there: Kuroto hadn't exactly ordered him to be there at that particular moment and had he the choice, he would stay as far from that darn bastards office whenever he could. It must have been some kind of sense of boredom, a feeling Graphite was way too familiar with. He wanted to do allowed to go out and fight but he wasn’t allowed to fight as much as he wanted if at all. Kuroto had told to him that it was because of them trying to keep low profile for now while they still were on early stages in their plan. This infuriated Graphite. Why did they have that stupid plan? Why couldn't they just go straight to fight? It would be easier that way. Whenever he presented the question to Kuroto he always got the same answer. 

“It would be unwise to just go straight up fighting if we haven't followed the plan. Besides we need to do all the steps in order for the plan to even work.If we fight now there is no battle to be had and everything will fall apart. Its like if you try to sell a game that's in its earliest build.” That's what Kuroto had told him time and time again.

Graphite didn’t understand why. Humans like Kuroto were way too complicated with their plans. Graphite didn't like it when things were complicated. He prefered them plain and simple.

While looking at Kuroto's office, Graphite noticed Parad being there as well. He was sitting on a beanbag, playing on one of his games while drinking a smoothie.

“Where's Kuroto?”, Graphite asked. In all honesty he could care less whether or not the CEO of Genm corp was there. It just felt slightly odd to not have him present at his own office,where he was almost all the time,until he had some important appointments to go to.

“I have no idea”,Parad nonchalantly responded   as he slurped his drink, his eyes still focused on the game he was playing.“Probably pretending to be Mr. Nice Guy to those chores at Genm.”

Of course. Graphite wasn't surprised in the slightest. Not that it mattered much anyway.

Parad smiled, eyes still immersed to the game. “By the way, Kuroto asked me to tell you something”

“Why can't he tell it himself?” Graphite groaned.

Parad shrugged while smiling like the cryptid he was. 

“Now,now if someone isn't a bit grumpy today. Cheer up” Parad chucklingly looked at his companion. How did he know? Was it that noticeable? Even so,it was strange. Parad wasn't exactly the type to care for what others felt. Why was Graphite even thinking about this in the first place? Normally the other s apathy didn't bother him in the slightest.

”Long story short”, Parad started his explanation. “Kuroto is going to be busy the whole day and as such we made a deal. Think of it as a game to kill boredom.If I will tell you what he had had to say, then he will give me a prize. Besides I think you're going to like what he wanted to say.”

Graphite became slightly confused. Kuroto almost never had anything to say that was particularly pleasant. It was always some sort of errand. Most of the times said errands weren't even anything exciting,like fighting.It was boring and mundane stuff,like going to a certain place or get some sort of object.

“What did he have to say”.There was nothing to lose after all.

“Basically he asked you if you could do a favor. Simply go to the Seito library and borrow a book. It was called _ 'Little birds and little crocodiles on beach land’ _ I think“

Graphite groaned. Of course. He shouldn't have expected anything more from Kuroto. What would he need a simple book for? It didn't sound anything that could help his overarching plan in a long run. 

“Fine I guess I will bring that stupid book. I don't have much else to do anyway”, Graphite muttered grudgingly. He knew that there wasn't any point in refusing to do it. Besides, this was a way to escape boredom for a while, he thought.

 

* * *

 

Seito Library was way larger than Graphite expected. It was large,filled with shelf upon shelf of books. There were way too many departments,shelves and books to find one stupid book one stupid man had sent him for. Going through the shelves took hours upon hours. It felt like ages.

After what felt like an eternity, Graphite found the book he was sent to look for. It was a children's picture book written by a foreign author. The cover showed a  bird and a small crocodile drinking tea and eating cookies. It looked somewhat familiar to Graphite. He couldn't pinpoint where he had seen it or when. It felt like something distant yet somehow familiar. Before he could take the book and leave the library, everything went fuzzy.

 

_ “Please read it to me again, Papa”, a small child no older than six said. Their facial features couldn't be made out. The most notable thing about their appearance was their extremely fluffy hair. They were wearing pastel green pajamas. They were holding a small green top hat wearing crocodile plushie in one of their arms and a picture book with a bird and a crocodile in the other. _

_ “Not now sweetie”, their father said gently. _

_ “But why papa?” The child looked at their father. Tears were rolling to their cheeks.They were so upset they almost dropped their plush to the ground. The child quickly realized this,so they held their plush tightly in their little grasp. _

_ “Papa is busy”, the child's father responded,kissing them on the right cheek. “However we can read it later. Go to your room and play a little bit. Papa will come later.” _

_ “Promise?”, the child said, still a little sad in their tone. _

_ “Yes, promise”,their father said,hugging them gently. The child started smiling softly, after which they went to play with their plushies. _

 

Graphite flinched awake. What was that? Another dream? Though calling it a dream felt wrong. It felt more like a flashback of sorts. Like deeply reminscising something that happened a long, long time ago to the point of deep immersion. That made Graphite slightly confused about the flashback he had. Was it real? Who was the child? Was he the child? No, he couldn't be. He had never been a child. But then how did the flash feel so real? How did he feel like he was the one wanting attention by a man that felt vaguely familiar? Where did this flash come from, did the book have something to do with it? And why did he feel that the flash were like memory of something long past? He knew for sure that thing he had seen in the flash never had happened to him. How could it? Not only has he never been a child,he had only lived for a few months. The memory felt much further away, from years, even decades ago. He didn't understand. The whole idea that he could have dream like flashes which felt almost real was too much for his tiny lizard-brain to handle. He decided to leave this weird flash alone. Sure, it was the second time he had one,but two times having weird visions meant nothing to him. It was probably a minor glitch in his coding. Nothing more,nothing less.

 

* * *

 

Over time the flashes and dreams became more common. They were triggered by the most mundane things: from visiting a location that felt familiar to seeing an object to falling asleep like it was a dream. There were a few common causes for the visions. The most common was seeing things with a blue bird. The bird was a symbol that was in almost every dream in some way,shape or form,so it made sense.

The visions varied: sometimes he was there present and it was from his view,other time he wasn't there at all. Whenever he wasn't there,the mysterious fluffy-haired child was there. There was a weird pinchy sense of familiarity of them, like if he had known the child from somewhere before but couldn’t exactly point where. Regardless,no matter what kind of vision it was they had one thing in common: they felt real, like he had been there, like he had experienced these things before and was now just reminiscing them. 

The more flashes Graphite got, the less was he able to ignore them. At first it was relatively easy, he could dismiss the flashes as nothing more than minor glitches in his programming. But the more flashes happened, the more infuriating it was. What was happening to him? Had he started malfunctioning? Neither the visions nor what happened in them made no sense at all. He liked things simple. These dumb visions weren't simple in the slightest.

Graphite had to do something about these visions. He needed answers. He figured to get answers he had to swallow his pride and ask either Kuroto or Parad about the visions. Graphite knew for a fact he didn’t want to ask Kuroto anything. So he went to ask Parad.

 

* * *

 

Parad was easy to find. He was either at Kuroto’s office or in his own hammock at the basement. He was at the basement, playing his game in the hammock. He noticed Graphite teleporting to the basement.

“Fancy to meet you here”, Parad remarked,still playing his game. Was he surprised to see Graphite there? Graphite wasn’t sure. There wasn’t any way to make sure with what an enigma like Parad was feeling.

“Are we able to dream?”,Graphite cut straight to the point. There was no need for formalities.

“What?”, Parad chuckled still focusing on playing his game. Graphite shrugged in frustration. There was nothing amusing about his question.

“I asked you, Parad. Are we able to dream?”

“Why are you asking that?”,Parad shrugged,still chuckling a bit. “I don’t know. I haven’t had dreams at least.”

Silence. If Parad never had experienced dreams,then why was Graphite having them. Even if they originated from different games, they should have had similar biological functions. Graphite wasn’t sure how to respond. Should he tell to the other boy that he had dreams. Or should he just keep to himself. 

“Forget about it”, the dragon like creature muffed, regretting that he had even asked the closest person he had to a friend. “I was curious. That’s all.”

“That's very unusual from you,being curious” Parad muffled smilingly. “Have you changed, Graphite?”

“No I haven't”, Graphite flustered. He was sitting in his pillow nest formation,sinking his head into the pillow and briefly punching another out of embarrassment. “Don't even think about it.”

The two were silent to the rest of the evening. The only noises that could be heard were the near quiet sounds of the game Parad was playing. The nest felt comfy and warm. Eventually he fell asleep and had yet another of his strange little dreams.

 

_ The fluffy-haired child was alone in their home,searching for something. They looked a few years older compared to most of the previous visions they had been in, through it was hard to pinpoint how old they were. Most likely they were around elementary school age,old enough to be left home alone for a few hours but still young enough to love playing with toys and have that childlike innocence. Their hair was slightly longer than it had been before, reaching to their shoulders. They were wearing a slightly oversized white blouse with a ribbon and a green skirt. The child was carrying their favorite top hatted crocodile plush around. The plush looked like it had been extremely hugged and played with,to put it lightly. _

_ “Alrights Mister Crocky”,the child excitedly explained to their plush. “Today we are going to search for my violin. I have a concert tomorrow , so I must find my violin and notes for the “Birds in Sunshine” piece and practice before Papa and Mama come home from their adult things.” The plush didn't obviously answer,how could it, but it didn't matter for a child their age. Imagination allowed it to answer to them in their head. After a while of searching,the child found the instrument and notes. _

_ “There it is”, the child shouted with glee. They were excited at seeing the violin, like it was Christmas Eve. The child put the crocodile plush on a sofa and started playing the violin, like the plush was their audience. The child played violin well for someone their age. After a while of playing they got tired. It felt strange, the child often was able to play the instrument much longer than the brief time. Exhausted, they curled up to the nearby sofa they had put their little crocodile plush. _

_ “I wonder where papa is”, they said sobbingly. “I wonder where mama is too. They are later than usual.” After a while of sobbing the child fell asleep. _

_ A few hours pass. The child's parents came home from their adult things. They found their child sleeping on the sofa. The father held their hand tightly. It felt warm.  _

_ “Did my little peach blossom fall asleep?” _

_ The child woke up. They looked at their father sleepingly. _

_ “Papa” the child mumbled half incoherently, still half asleep. “You came Papa” _

_ “Yes I came”,the child's father said, giving a soft smile at them. _

_ “Thank you,Papa” ,the child mumbled sleepingly. A few moments later they fell asleep again. As they fell asleep they could feel how their father ruffle their fluffy hair. _

 

Graphite woke up. Another dream? By this point the dreams and visions he saw had become extremely common, to the point he wasn’t surprised of their appearance. As usual, the vision couldnt leave his head at first. It was the cryptic nonsense he came to expect from the dream at this point. Events and people that felt familiar, but Graphite couldn't exactly pinpoint when and where those things had occurred. He tried to think about the dream. It had the child, whose visits were almost expected at this point. It pretty much felt like a typical dream there wasn't much noticeable. The only exception was what the child's father had referred them as.Peach Blossom.

There was something about that name. It sensed so darn familiar.

_ Peach blossom. _

That moment,everything fell together like a puzzle. Graphite realized what was going on,who the child that had persistently appeared in his dreams was. He realized what the flashbacks were. He realized  _ whose memories _ they were. 

Momose Saki. His host. The person he had killed in order to materialize and become complete being.

This realisation made Graphite stare to the distance jarringly. He couldn't fathom his realisation. While he was glad he knew what the flashes and dreams were,this didn't make the situation as clear cut as Graphite had hoped. If anything,all it made this all even more complicated. How was it even possible that he had her memories in the first place? Saki was dead. And even if she wasn’t, it still didn’t explain why Graphite had her memories.

Nor did it explain why they felt so darn familiar.

What was going on with him? Graphite didn't know. He knew however that there was only one way to find out. As much as Graphite hated to admt, it didn’t include fighting or punching things.

 

* * *

 

For the next few weeks, Graphite attempted in getting the memories appear. It had been harder than he expected: Before when he got visions accidentally, they could appear from the smallest things. Now that he actually tried to get them to appear it was another story. During the first couple of days he didn't get any visions at all whatsoever. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get them to materialise. It was like the memories were playing an infuriating game of hide and seek with him. Graphite was on verge of giving up. He couldn't. He wanted answers to the memories and if he gave up halfway through, he would never find out why he had them in first place.

Besides if there was anything Graphite hated, it was giving up.

After a few days of trying to get Saki's memories to materialize to no avail Graphite changed the way he approached this. Instead of trying to forcefully bend his mind to show the memories, he tried to activate them with some of the common ways they had activated before. He remembered from his encounters with the visions a lot of the times both the activation and the visions involved birds, especially blue ones, so he tried to be near them and see if it worked. At first it didn’t create any more results than before. Eventually though, Graphite was able to summon Saki’s memories through this method.

It felt like a miracle.

Once he had gotten the memories willingly to appear once, it became much easier to get more of them to show up. No longer had he to force himself into get them, rather he it was like tuning in them, surfing on the waves of memories and hopping in and out of them with ease. In a weird sense it felt like projecting oneself in a library of massive knowledge, expect instead of all knowledge in the world it was just one person's memories. Or it felt like opening a box full of chocolates. Each one was different, yet they were similar and together they made one whole.

Together the memories made one whole Momose Saki.

Through her memories, Graphite slowly learned who Saki was as a person and of her life. She had lived pretty much a normal life, all things considered. Being the only child from a decently well off family, she spent large amounts of her early years by her relatives or alone as she grew older and was able to spend a few hours alone in her home. Her parents loved her and tried to care for her as best as they could but were somewhat distant due to being busy with their jobs. She was a diligent student, getting good to great grades in almost everything. While she wasn't the most popular kid and didn't have many friends, she wasn't outright hated by almost anyone either. Pretty much she was that sweet and kind girl who got along with almost everyone, but was distant so she didn't have many close bonds. Not that it bothered her too much. Sure,occasionally she felt loneliness and sense of not truly belonging anywhere, but she mostly felt happy and content based on everything Graphite had seen so far.

As he browsed her memories, Graphite noticed that his opinion on Saki changed. While at first he saw her as nothing more than his host,overtime as he browsed her memories,he realized he had started be genuinely interested in her and her life. He felt a weird bond,like if she was a friend he never met but shared a bond someone would share with a friend. This surprised Graphite. Why did he even care about her? Why was he so invested in her and genuinely wanted to see how she would beat the odds she faced in her memories? He hated humans so why did this one person suddenly start to matter to him? Especially when it was just a foolish dead girl. It was just the amount of time he spent browsing the memories, Graphite tried to convince himself. Part of him felt that it wasn't just the time.

Even if Graphite finally knowing where the memories came from, he still sometimes felt like they were his own and the was going through his his own past instead of someone elses. That he was reminiscing of the times long past,of his own experiences and feelings. That he tried to remind himself of the moments that made him the person he was today.

But those weren't his memories,Graphite attempted to remind himself. They were someone else's.

Someone whose life he had taken away. 

Then why did everything of Saki's memories feel so darn familiar. Graphite didn't know. It was too much for him to try to understand. Normally he would just ignore anything too complicated and focus on better,simpler things. But this time he felt like he simply couldn't ignore it. He wanted to understand these feelings. No, he felt like he had to understand them in order to have a closure on these weird memories and understand their true purpose.

 

* * *

 

One day, while he was thinking about the memories and what to do with them, Graphite decided to teleport to somewhere outside. Outside would be a good place to think about these things while also kick abandoned cans. Perhaps he was able to find something to fight, if he was lucky too.

When Graphite teleported,he teleported in a store. Why had he teleported even here out of all places? Had his mind just chosen to teleport to a random place out of boredom?

No, there must have been another reason. 

Graphite looked around the store he had teleported to. It was a small clothing store. It was quite quiet around: There didn't seem to be many customers at the store, if any at all. Graphite was a bit dumbfounded: why had he went to a mere clothing store? What was so important that he had teleported to this store out of all places?

He walked around the store, looking at the clothes, while wondering why humans found an amusement in buying new clothes. The way of being socially accepted by wearing clothes accepted by societal norms or rejecting those norms and going their own way was something he didn’t understand. It was just clothes? Why were the type of clothes one wore such a big deal to humans. As he frustratingly tried to comprehend human absurdity, he came across a piece of clothing. The clothing was a lacy mint green shirt and green poofy shoulder length pants.

That's when it hit Graphite why he was in the store first place.

The shirt and pants. It was the outfit Saki always had wanted but was too shy to ask.

Like an impulse Graphite grabbed the outfit in order to test it in the fitting room. It felt automatic, like he had to do this. He couldn't leave the store without trying it on.

Graphite tried on the outfit. It felt a bit off, a bit too small in the chest area and a bit too big around the waist, but after some adjusting he got accustomed to  it.

He looked himself in the mirror. The outfit looked cute. A bit too formal for his taste, assuming he even had one in the first place, but cute regardless. He could see why she loved and wanted it so much. It felt a bit off wearing it. Must be the proportions.

As Graphite was about to take the outfit off,he caught himself looking at the mirror.

He looked like how he had the whole time he had existed. Same hairstyle,same facial features, same fierce eyes.

Despite looking the same something felt different. Graphite couldn't pinpoint what it was. He looked at his reflection,tilted his head to see if that could help him figure out.Could it just be because of the clothes why he felt off. After all the proportions were a bit strange. He changed back to his normal attire. No, still feeling off. It wasn't just the proportions that felt weird.

He returned to the mirror to see if it could show what was off. Nope, nothing off in the mirror. It was just his reflection staring at him back.

If it wasn’t anything off about his body then what was it?

The more he looked at the mirror the more he started feeling irritated. Look at this disgusting being, he thought for himself. Look at this disgusting being that can't figure out what's wrong with him. Graphite shuddered. Why the sudden self hate? He didn't hate himself, so why now?

_ 'You can't even pinpoint what makes you feel weird you disgusting creature’, _ his thoughts suffocated him. Where did these thoughts come from? Why did he think that out of the blue? What was it? Graphite didn't know. It felt like he wasn't in control of his thoughts. That the search of memories had caused his thoughts to go out of control.

Graphite looked in horror, as he came to the realisation. He wasn't sure who he was anymore.

The feeling enraged him. For the little existence he had he was confident in who he was. He knew very well what he was and what he fought for. Now he wasn't sure. He set his arm up, ready to punch the mirror and shatter it to seven billion pieces. Who cared if he was at a store or not. When he was almost near to the mirror however, his arm stopped moving. It was as if something was restraining him.

For the first time Graphite felt like something was stopping him from punching things. Infuriatingly, Graphite gasped while looking at his reflection. What was holding him back? Not that that made the situation any better or clearer than it was. He should have just looked away, but for some reason he couldn´t.

Like if he was in some sort of trance.

“Just who are you?” he shouted at his reflection. “Are you a powerful warrior like you always were told both by yourself or others? Or are you just a weird mitch-match of data and a dead girls memories?” Heavy breathing. Fierce eyes focused on the mirror. No answer.

“Make up your mind already!” Graphite continued screaming at the mirror. His tone was so sharp, it could have easily shattered the mirror if voices had the capacity. Still no answer? How could it. It was just a mirror.

Graphite curled to a ball screaming in agony. The trance like state was over. He didn't want to look at his reflection anymore. The awful mess he had become. 

‘ _ Those darn memories _ ’ _ , _ he thought to himself.

Those darn memories had to make everything more complicated than he wanted them to be. If he didn't have them everything would be like it used to. He would just have to worry about the stupid plan and be excited to the fights to come. If only it could be so easy. But no it couldn't. It had to be difficult. It had to.

 

* * *

  
  


It had been two weeks since the incident with the mirror. Ever since then Graphite had been confused with his identity. He had no idea who he was anymore or what the deal with memories meant. It felt numbing.

“I would like to talk with you, Graphite”, Kuroto asked one day. It was extremely sudden.

“Why”, Graphite shrugged. 

“I do have a few things I want to discuss”, the CEO responded.

“So how are you feeling?”, Kuroto asked, smiling at Graphite. His voice was calm,but cold. There was no warmth neither in the smile or the tone he spoke. 

“What do you mean?”, Graphite gruffed.

“I mean what I asked. How are you feeling?” Kuroto asked the question again with just as calm tone as the first time.

“Alright I guess”,Graphite muttered,not looking at Kuroto. If he had a choice he wouldn’t have talked to the CEO in the first place. 

“That's great to hear”,Kuroto remarked hollowly.   “How have you felt with her memories?”

Graphite could feel his counterpart of a heart briefly stopping. Of course Kuroto knew about his strange memories. Of course.

“How did you know?”

“I know my creations and their functions well”, Kuroto responded, still smiling his empty smile.

“What did you do me?”,Graphite hissed in agony.

“I didn’t do anything.” 

Silence. Kuroto still kept smiling. It was like unbreakable ice: no matter what Graphite did, the fake smile didn’t go away from Kuroto’s face.

“What did you do to me?” Graphite repeated his question, his tone more desperate than before.

“Are you sure I did do anything to you?”. Kuroto's gaze was piercing like a hawks. He looked straight into Graphite.

“Do you know why you need to take someone's life in order to become complete?” Kuroto asked.

“No”

“It's simple reason really”, Kuroto responded, still staring at Graphite. “As something created from data and coding, you need something concrete to be fully realized as a being. And for that, we use humans. As a way of finishing you, making you complete and able of functioning.”

Graphite didn't understand half of what

Screw off, Dan Kuroto.

He wanted to scream at Kuroto. For what he did to him. For what he had ,but he couldn't open his mouth no matter what. The only noise he could let out was a small squeak,like a cry for help.

“Pitiful”,Kuroto taunted.There still were no breaks in his facade. “Is that all the powerful dragon warrior can do? Squeak at me like a harmless bird. How pathetic you are.” There was a brief venom in the last four words, like a vocal representation of disappointment.

“You made me like this…”,Graphite tried to respond back. His voice felt small and hollow. Like it was stuck in a glass bottle. Did he fear Kuroto that much that his control diminished his strength? No, it wasn't that. He didn't fear him. Resentment,absolutely but not fear. There was nothing Graphite feared.

Or that is how it used to be. Now he wasn't as sure anymore.

Kuroto continued his hollow smile. No words. Just a smile.

“I didn't” , he repeated. “If anything  _ you  _ made yourself like this.”

At that point Graphite had enough of Kuroto's nonsense. He tried to punch at Kuroto.When he tried to punch him,he simply made a tiny movement with his hand. 

Why couldn't he just punch him.

It all felt so suffocating. And before he could even react Graphite suffocated to his memories once more.

 

_ Its a normal day at the park. Birds were chirping. He was sitting in there on a bench, crying. Tears fell off his face.  _

_ 'Why doesn't he love me?” _

_ “I gave everything for him...I wasted time I could used studying or bonding with other people” He was still crying. “Why doesn't he love me?” _

_ No one ever has cared for him. They never did. Sure they may have cared for him but he never felt he had gotten the attention he wanted. He felt like had been had shut out his whole life . The people thinking it would be the best for him, while in reality it had just caused more pain than good.  No one had given him the affection he desperately carved for and just treated him like window dressing. _

_ He hated it. He hated it so much. _

_ He just wanted to love and be loved. _

_ Why were people in his life not as loving? _

_ As he was crying, he collapsed. _

 

_ Flash a bit forward. A dark, dim lit hospital room. Memories are murky. It feels weird, like if he was there but wasn't. He doesn't have time to think when he sees a familiar face. _

_ Dan Kuroto. _

_ The CEO of Genm is near the hospital bed. He is holding some sort of item with him. It's hard to point out what said item even is. _

_ “Sleep well”, the CEO of Genm smiled hollowly as he pointed the item at the direction of the bed. “Now it is time for you sweet girl to sleep forever.” _

_ “And for the wicked monster inside you to wake up.” _

_ As Kuroto said that, something materialised. A green dragon like monster. _

_ Graphite. _

 

Graphite flinched back to the reality. He was heavily breathing. Another memory.

He remembered clearly what memory it was.

It was the day Saki died.

It was the day Graphite was born.

They were like two sides of the same coin. Based on the way he was created, Graphite was deeply connected to her, in a way that was hard to explain. Despite that Graphite wasn't Saki. He finally realized that despite having her memories he wasn't her. Sure the memories were an integral part of him and partially made him who he was but that didn't mean he was the person those memories originally belonged to. He was more than those memories: he was his data, his programming. But more important than that he was his own experiences,the memories he had made while he was living his own life. All these things combined him made him who he was. All these things combined made him himself. The person he was wasn't an individual part of his origin but rather a sum of it’s all parts.It was that simple.

Graphite liked things simple.

As he looked out the window, Graphite noticed a familiar silhouette floating around. It was a blue bird,like the one that started him on a quest for finding out what the memories were. The bird seemed happy.

The bird seemed free. It knew what it was and it did what it was made to do. 

Just like Graphite.

**Author's Note:**

> Im still salty (the emotion,not the bugster) that the show introduced the cool/interesting concept of bugsters having memories from their human hosts yet...never really did anything w it. Honestly it's a problem I have with Ex Aid in general: introducing a ton of cool concepts/ideas yet never doing much with some of them (there atr expections of course but still)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the fic. Cant believe I cranked this one this shortly after my previous oneshot. The next fic may take a while as Im busy with IRL responsibilites and havent completely plotted my next oneshot (tho I do have a vague idea what I will write next). Im also working on a few longfics,but those will take some while haha


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